Friendship

Friday, February 22, 2008

Friendship


Ah, friendship. It is what we long for and what we seek...true friendship. Webster's defines friendship as "the state of being friends." So, what does being friends mean? Again according to Webster's, it means "one attached to another by affection or esteem; friendly."

What does this really mean? In looking further into the definitions, we find that affection means "a moderate feeling or emotion; tender attachment" and esteem is defined as "the regard in whih one is held." Okay, how about friendly and companion? Friendly is defined as "cheerful, comforting, showing kindly interest and goodwill" while companion means "one that accompanies another; one that keeps company with another."

STOP!!!! What does all of this mean? Well, I think we can synthesize this down to one sentence. Friendship is the state of your heart connecting with another's. Hold on -- before you begin getting tense because that definition seems to simple, let's talk. I believe there are three things that effect the development of friendship.

First, you can intellectually know the definition of love, for example, but if you don't feel it in your heart you don't own it; it isn't yours. Likewise for friendship, you may be able to define it but if you don't feel it, it isn't yours.

I have met, in my life, some really incredible people. People who I would have loved to be friends with but no matter how much I worked to develop that "tender attachment" the relationship never moved past "companion." Why? Like the saying goes "it takes two to tango." I may have been working to move the relationship to a friendship but the other person was not, hence my heart was not making that connection with another's. Other times, both of us may have been working to make the connection but we weren't speaking the same language; our friendship styles were imcompatible.

Finally, each person puts different values into what friendship means. Personally, I think a friend must be trustworthy beyond reproach, among many other values. You may put emphasis on something else. This value emphasis will also effect whether or not the two hearts connect.

Once we understand these things and define what values we put upon our friendships, I believe we can then...and only then...have true friendships.

Wishing you true friendship!

Jo